Hillary is so corrupt, she got kicked off the Watergate Commission. How corrupt do you have to be to get kicked off the Watergate Commission? Pretty corrupt. Hillary is and has been in politics since the 70s. What is her pitch? The economy is busted, the government is corrupt, Washington is failing. “Vote for me. I have been working on these problems for 30 years. I can fix it”, she says.

在上一期的名人演讲栏目中，我们给大家介绍了希拉里出席艾尔弗雷德-史密斯纪念基金会慈善晚宴时的演讲。今天，咱们再来看看特朗普在同一场晚宴的演讲中释放的笑点。

And a special hello to all of you in this room who have known and loved me for many, many years. It’s true! The politicians. They’ve had me to their homes. They’ve introduced me to their children. I have become their best friends in many instances. They’ve asked for my endorsements, and they always wanted my money. They even called me really a dear, dear friend. But then suddenly, decided when I ran for president as a Republican, that I’ve always been a no-good, rotten, disgusting scoundrel, and they totally forgot about me. But that’s okay.

But one of the things I noticed tonight, and I’ve known Hillary for a long time, is this is the first time ever, ever that Hillary Clinton is sitting down and speaking to major corporate leaders and not getting paid for it. It’s true, true.

New York, October 20, 2016

You know, Cardinal Dolan and I have some things in common. For instance, we both run impressive properties on Fifth Avenue. Of course, his is much more impressive than mine. That’s because I built mine with my own beautifully formed hands, while his was built with the hands of God, and nobody can compete with God, is that correct? Nobody, right? That’s right. No contest.

And I don’t know – Are we supposed to be proud of that or where are we supposed to be on that one? But we did say that, and I am trying to think back to Lincoln. I don’t think we can compete with that. But the candidates have some lighthearted moments together, which is true. I have no doubt that Hillary is going to laugh quite a bit tonight, sometimes even at an appropriate moment.

Thank you. I don’t know – and I don’t want this evening without saying something nice about my opponent. Hillary has been in Washington a long time. She knows a lot about how government works. And according to her sworn testimony, Hillary has forgotten more things than most of us will ever, ever know, that I can tell you.

America is in many ways divided. Thank you. America is in many ways divided like it’s never been before. And the great religious leaders here tonight give us all an example that we can follow. We are living in a time and age that we never thought possible before. The vicious barbarism we read about in history books but never thought we’d see it in our so-called modern-day world. Who would have thought we would be witnessing what we’re witnessing today? We have got to be very strong, very, very smart, and we’ve got to come together not only as a nation, but as a world community.

And that we together broke the all-time record tonight is really something special. More than $6 million net, net, net. The Cardinal told me that it’s net, net, Donald, remember. We can also agree on the need to stand up to anti-Catholic bias, to defend religious liberty, and to create a culture that celebrates life.

You know, they say when you do this kind of event, you always start out with a self-deprecating joke. Some people think this would be tough for me, but the truth is – it’s true, true – the truth is: I am actually a modest person, very modest. It is true. In fact, many people tell me that modesty is perhaps my best quality – even better than my temperament.

Just kidding, just kidding.

Thank you very much. God bless you, and God bless America. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you.